Names of Oscar presenters dribble out every year during the months leading up to the Big Night. This year was no exception.
We’re one-upping the Academy this year, offering our unsolicited advice of presenting tandems that would make the show sizzle. Dynamic duos who would supercharge the proceedings.
1. Betty White & Robert Downey, Jr.
She may be in her 80’s, but Betty White has a spicy sense of humor for an old broad. And Robert Downey, Jr. is just the kind of crazy guy to match her double entendre for double entendre and light up the stage on Oscar night. I don’t care what Oscar they’re announcing. I want to see White up there with her sweet face talking funny trash, while Downey makes odd faces, playing right along, riffing off her words, taking us to dangerous and unexpected places.
[Betty White & Robert Downey, Jr. present the Oscar for Documentary Feature]
2. Emma Roberts & Julia Roberts
Would the biggest star in the world (at one time) deign to pair with her young niece for Oscar night? What would that look like? Perhaps the writers could concoct a routine in which Julia converses with Emma about Emma’s recent/upcoming roles, while Emma is clueless about Julia’s history or curious what, if anything, her auntie is doing these days. An appearance by Julia’s big bro Eric (Emma’s Dad), interrupting the proceedings to Julia’s dismay might be something to really write home about.
[Emma Roberts & Julia Roberts present the Oscar for Film Editing]
3. Steve Spielberg & James Cameron
How about a little mano y mano over who truly is the greatest box-office director of all time? Taking the stage, they begin name dropping their films at one another, Spielberg tossing out Indiana Jones and ET. Cameron throwing Terminator and Titanic right back in his face. Then it gets ugly. Steven mentions The Abyss. Cameron drops the Always bomb. It’s never pretty when you’re trying to answer the tough questions, like who really is King Of The World.
[Steve Spielberg & James Cameron present the Oscar for (what else) Best Director]
4. Megan Fox and Eva Mendes
Picture it. OK. There you have it.
[Megan Fox and Eva Mendes present the Oscar for Cinematography]
5. Sophia Loren & Justin Bieber
Huh? Ms. Loren and the Biebster? OK, this might be a stranger sighting than spaceships over Area 51. But it can work. Trust me. Imagine this incongruous pair stepping onto the stage of the Kodak Theater, saying nothing, glancing around uncomfortably as if a mistake has been made. Then they glance at each other with vacant stares as if they have no idea who the other person is (which they probably don’t). Finally they get to the business at hand. Bottom line: A strange and surreal experience. Uncomfortable and priceless. Great TV.
[Sophia Loren & Justin Bieber present the Oscar for Animated Feature]
6. Billy Crystal & Jack Black
A musical comedy routine by this dynamic duo to announce the nominees. Jack can sing with his funky voice and do his funny little dance until he gets his mojo back (can you say, Gulliver’s Travels?). Billy will remind us not only how to present, but what a real Oscar host can do.
[Billy Crystal & Jack Black present the Oscar for Best Actress]
Enjoy the show!
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